Samyang Seafood Party

Noodle flavour:  Seafood Party. You can make whatever jokes you like here, they're not actually going to be funnier than the name itself. 

Country of Origin: Korea. They're Samyang, which is a bit annoying because I've already done a Samyang and unlike the BBC at Christmas, I wanted to avoid any repeats for a while*. Anyway, it did lead me down a rabbit-hole of research and I discovered that their chairman Sudang Kim Yeon-Su was quite the hot young industrialist when he set up the company in 1924. Check out this guy: Phew-wee. He was hotter than the Samyang Spicy Fire Noodles, which I will review soon, I promise. 

Cooking instructions:  TMW (first-time readers: this stands for "too much water. (regular readers who are thick: this stands for "too much water")) and boil for five minutes. 

Incidentally, since the last entry, a few people have asked me: "Jon, where do you buy your noodles?" or left facebook messages saying: "Nice, but you should say where you buy your noodles from". I've "liked" all these requests and responses. But only so I could take the names and ban those people, because I already have in a couple of earlier entries. And being as I've written about it on other entries, I actually reckon you should go back and read it for yourselves. No, really, read it. Pick your way back through the fields of tortured metaphors, depressingly lengthy sentences about cheap noodles and outdated references.  Do it. 

I don't have to hold your hands through everything do I? I mean, God, forbid you do anything yourselves. The problem with you people on the internet is that you expect hacky similes, noodle guidance and now shopping tips for absolutely nothing and you don't even pay attention. Bloodsucking leeches, that's what you are. And, yes, I do mean you.  

Flavouring packets: Two. One dried vegetable and fish-flavour called 'flake'. One soup powder called 'soup'. I mean, look, here they are. In a crappy photo. Why am I even doing this blog?

Overall: I wasn't expecting it but these noodles are, like M Ward's album Transfiguration Of Vincent**,   pretty good despite a deeply stupid name. They're reminiscent of the classic Shin Ramyun, and a party featuring a foul-mouthed Viscount Wedgwood carrying poppers, with their deep-red, salty tones delivering a fair whack to the senses. The 'flake' bag is really quite good and contains some things which, like Steve Hogarth***, might not be fish but are just as good.

The noodles themselves don't quite have the same thick bite, chew and pull however. And if this blog is about anything, it's about bite, chew and pull. In no way is it a cry for help from the midst of a dying industry spewed out while the world spirals down into a bizarre polarised state of being ruled entirely by idiots, nope. It's all about the bite, chew and pull of rehydrated instant noodles and so I marked these thoroughly enjoyable noodles down just a little bit because that's important now. They're very good, nonetheless.

If these noodles were a crime novel, they'd be: Donnybrook by Frank Bill. Really surprisingly sophisticated despite the name. It's available on Kindle for cheap but if you want any further help on where to buy it from, then look elsewhere, leeches. Yes, you.

Noodle rating: 4/5


* Like the BBC at Christmas, I am used to unfair accusations.

** A musical reference less than 20 years old. Screw you, Skrillex fans.

*** Yeah, that one is a bit older. And to be honest, I've never heard anything that Marillion have done since Fish left**** but I liked the joke.

**** Not because I really liked Marillion before Fish left, you understand. Just because they didn't sell records and so didn't appear on the Chart Show.